I've asked it one too many times. It's not good to dwell on things you can't change. Thankfully, I've been blessed on the postitive side of it more than on the negative. God has been gracious.
Many "what ifs" in life are sometimes a good indicator of our unthankfulness. We think if we just had some other thing in life or some other circumstance to take place--things would be better. If we just had that new car, or other job, or other friend--or even spouse in some people's cases--life would be so much better!
I think Rudyard Kipling hit it spot on with this poem:
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!
Character forms with what we DO with the circumstances we find ourselves in--not dwelling on what could have been--or what could be.
The Bible puts it this way:
Philippians 4:11,12 (NIV) says,
11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
Contentment is something I struggle daily with, as well as self-doubt. This poem (I had it memorized once), and this verse have been a help to me. I have to ponder them often. I do believe I'm making some progress, because I have less anger and dicontentment issues than I've had in the past. It also helped me in realizing that living like that sucks the joy out of life. Christ wants us to be joy-filled. Part of that is growing through a relationship with Him.
It's also a trust issue. Christ knows what's best for me. He's placed circumstances and obstacles in my life for a purpose--to make me more like Him.
Pastor's sermons on the Sermon on the Mount, have also been making me dwell on the formation of Character lately. He preached from Matt. 7:13-23 a couple Sundays ago. It was on "Easy Discipleship" (which it turns out is not so easy ;-)). In that context, he stated that Jesus was speaking to those who were "religious". He stated that "Jesus is not deceived. He knows those who truly believe. The emphasis is on a relationship with Christ."
We all bear fruit. It shows who we really are.
I knew I had/have my failings. I had this erroneous idea in the back of my head, that someday when I die...all of a sudden I'll have this perfect body--and I'm perfect! No worries. I can mess up again and again here on earth, maybe not worry so much about the formation of my character now because in the end it'll all be good!
Will it? Really? And how good?
"What if death forever fixes us as the kind of person we have finally become in life?" --Dallas Willard
That quote was at the end of the sermon. It sent chills up my spine.
Remember the parable of the talents?
Matthew 25:14-29 (NIV)
14 “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone. 15 He gave five bags of silver[a] to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities. He then left on his trip.
16 “The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. 17 The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. 18 But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.
19 “After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. 20 The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, ‘Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.’
21 “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together![b]’
22 “The servant who had received the two bags of silver came forward and said, ‘Master, you gave me two bags of silver to invest, and I have earned two more.’
23 “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’
24 “Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. 25 I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.’
26 “But the master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate, 27 why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’
28 “Then he ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant, and give it to the one with the ten bags of silver. 29 To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.
That's an illustration of the Kingdom of Heaven. So...perhaps Heaven has "Janitors" so to speak. Is everyone really going to be entrusted with the exact same "job" in Heaven if they wasted talents here on earth?
Or another way of thinking it, when we cast the crowns back at His feet...how many crowns will you have?
No, we're not going to suffer wrath. We stand in grace--but what may we miss out on in Heaven because we didn't pursue a right relationship here.
Oh, it will still be glorious and wonderful just being in Christ's presence--but are we throwing something away by being careless in this life??
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